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  • Writer's pictureLisa Fraas

A Healthy New Change: Moving Beyond Conflict

In the three decades that I have practiced family law, I have seen a lot of very diverse reasons for families entering into divorce. One thing that I have not seen: a client who was unhappy with the result. Relief, hope and positive transition are omnipresent in the final outcome. That said, I am working to transform the process itself – so that happiness and emotional relief are reached as part of the divorce being final.

The word divorce gets a bad rap in our society. The word itself conjures connotations of failure, angst and broken families. A happy marriage never ends in divorce. Our society today is so ingrained in successes, in finding the perception of happiness, that I believe we have lost the actual meaning of relationship and family along the way. It is incredibly exhausting to keep up appearances of happiness while behind closed doors we are miserable.

Viewed from another perspective, transitioning to a new configuration with your family as a whole can result in a better future for everyone. Conflict is difficult to face, often bringing up deep, tumultuous feelings that are hard to experience. But moving through the misery, we can find hope out of that conflict. Healing for each adult in the relationship will also trickle down to the children, the whole family, bringing peace during the process. That happy result may seem impossible upon first embarking in separation.

My practice goal is to facilitate conscious uncoupling and turn the traditional divorce process into a restorative and healing experience for the family –for individuals to re-acquaint themselves with their inner needs – and emerge from the process whole, revitalized and strengthened.

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